A Cat Living in this body.....

I made pretties
....Awesome Kick ass Coke Bottle cap earrings >>>













Go on and tell me how fucking PIMP i am... Thats right..


Bitches.


Sundrop ones are next.<3

So wow its a NEW YEAR. Does any one else feel like the past year went by fast?!? Now its saddening to think, One semester of High School Left... Its exciting as well.

I had alot of fun on New Years. I had to work but I got off at 8 Because my dad didn't want me on the roads. So I went Home got all Changed and cute for the party, Then I Headed over to Brandons House. It was a Blast. It started off as the limit of people only being allowed 30 people... but then... uhh that didn't last. Basically the entire senior class ended up hearing about it and showing up. I had a few choice beverages... and had an awesome night. The Parents kept raiding the party looking for alcohol.. but they never found it... muwhahahaha. We counted down on the big screen, and it was kinda kewl because ive never been to a big New years bash and it was fun having everyone around me. I wish Leslie woulda been there. Joey, Dane, Steven, and god only knows who else... umm... Streaked the party....That was Hilarious! I had no idea what was going on. I was waiting to go to the bathroom and then all of a sudden all these guys run out... ass naked... That was just what my night needed lol.
I stayed the night at Brandons...
I got into two major fights... it all started with a pillow fight and i was getting like 5 guys hitting me upside the head with pillows...so then I got after adam shade... (fight 1) we wrastled around.. it was fun. I have a few bruses but i was hitting and biting and scratching.. and going insane. I got thrown on the ground time and time again and I kept getting up and fightin lol. It was fun. Then Phil fought me and he is umm a blackbelt in karate and soo you could say that i got my ass handed to me... He kicked me twice in the chest and then once int he stomach, once again i got thrown down several times and yea.. the fights went on til we were all too tired to go on. Zuck was just standing by laughing and taping some of it... I think lol. anyways that was fun. I hurt the next morning but it was a jolly good time. I like fighting:)
Wow.. ok so chris zuck woke me up at 1(afternoon). I woke up to him shaking me... then in comes brandon and Phil Pape... and they all jumped on me... then... Chris and Phil started jumping on the bed and they bounced a total of... 2 times before we heard a spring or something of that nature snap... it was hilarious.

I had the Store christmas party and I got there about 3:30... I got home first and my mom was hungover worse than me lol. I had a minor stomach ache that was cured once I ate and a headache<--which being thrown on to the floor and smashing your head several times in a row doesn't really help.
My mom didn't wake up til i got home... at 3 and she had a HUGE headache.. o mommy. Your so silly.

So enjoyed food, movies, video games at the store.. then Torgi called me and asked me to go to a movie with him and a bunch of people so i went and saw the RINGER. It was fucking hilarious. I loved it. It was cullen, alisa, stegi, jaquee, shannon, torgi, will, and me. THen we all went over to John Parra. OMG I HAVE MISSED THAT KID SO MUCH! He is soo cute. He was having a BYOB party, but I was not participating, I simply went to see my lil buddy. It was hilarious, Parra was like lil susie homemaker... his mom made all these fresh baked cookies and everything and he kept bringing them down asking people if they wanted any. Lol. Then A great game of beer pong had started right as i was leaving. Oo and the theme for the pictures for the night was "hump pictures" lol. Ill post pictures from everything as soon as MY internet works, because all my pictures are on my computer and I really am too damn lazy to transfer them all.

But that is all for now. Im about to get me some damned coffee with the leslie, make a run by the craft store, and come home and work on some projects. Yayness.



Leave me some lovins if you'd like. I won't complain.

xoxoxo<33oxoxox

Christmas break has been good. Relaxing... well sort of. I just finished 1 of 2 books that i just bought. The one I just finished was "The Virgin Suicides" It was good. I liked it. I read it in 3 days.

On the 23rd I went on a ski trip. That was alot of fun. I come home to find my neighbors dad died in a trailor fire.... merry christmas.

So Christmas Eve I tried to stay happy. I slept in, ran errands, took my brothers on their last minute christmas shopping attempts. Ran home, got ready for church(THE FIRST TIME IVE BEEN TO CHURCH FOR A HOLIDAY) AND i baked 3 dozen cookies in 30 minutes.... yes i am that damn good! I was honestly running around like a chicken with its head cut off... mmm delicious. Then we went to church ... my mommy was playing her flute for the choir and what not... she did awesome! Then we went to my aunts house and had a delicious dinner! mmm it was sooo good. God I love VEGGIE trays. lol. Then we sat around the christmas tree and opened presents. I got and I-dog, 4 bags of orange creme hershey kisses, 1 bag of mint chocolate kit kats (both are limited edition candies.. my aunt gets me hooked on the weirdest things!) I also got 20 bucks to best buy, a bracelet, and 100 dollars from the G-PA.

Christmas..
-three t's from pac sun (blowpop, cherrios and sprite)
-Kick Ass Digital Camera
-a cute sweater
-9 bottles of perfume...
-earrings
-barnes and nobles gift card $50
-Micheals gift card $50
-candy
-fairies that sit on my computer
-lamb of god cd from Ian
-pantera, relient k cds
-jelly.....(if only you guys knew)
-socks and a T from justin
-kitty cat pajamas

so christmas was good, I also got my mini Ipod Updated to A new 30 GB color ipod. That was an unexpected gift. Im still waiting on my stereo to get into stores =)
Then out of nowhere Mike calls me and Invites me over to his place .. on Xmas... hmm weird. we chilled, but then I had to go to My Granmps and have dinner. Then Zach Came over for a movie.

Day after christmas. I successfully spent all of the gift cards I had. I spent $40 on one book from Barnes... I have wanted a good anatomy book forever! Now I finally have one! Then I Bought Canvas, Acrylic paints and Paintbrushes... ok so I OVER Spent at Micheals... this is why im not aloud in stores like that.
Then I bought a few cds from best buy.

So I officially saw Fun with Dic and Jane. twice. It was hilarious! i also saw the Producers... not bad not bad. Um Tonight is New Years.. hopefully plans come together.

In other fun news... Mike is uhh... to say the least...two sided. I guess thats a nice way of putting it.
So his reasoning for getting rid of me was " i can't handle a relationshp, IM not ready, and I don't deserve you...."
Yesterday i find out... Brittany and Mike want to date...

But wait a tick, he isn't ready to be with someone... now he turns around and wants to be with MY FRIEND! O Well these things they happen... to me. lol. I told them they could date... why? Because whats the point of making two people unhappy because of one person!? Besides who am I to tell them they can't date... Im nobody. Besides I always put others feelings before my own...Ive always been like that, always will be. Maybe she'll be better for him than I was...

The one thing that PISSED me off the most was I called Mike to confront him about it all. I was like.. look ill be fine.. and he said "you just said you were fine with it, and now you will be fine with it." Im like aren't "will be" and "were" the same thing in the end... yes. So I explained once again how I care about other peoples feelings before my own... how im not selfish.. how i like to see other people happy... he responds by saying " and thats why you get hurt the way you do.". WHAT THE FUCK! THATS THE REASON I GET HURT THE WAY I DO!?!??! I GET THE HURT THE WAY I FUCKING DO BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU! I GET HURT THE WAY I DO BECAUSE PEOPLE FUCKING DON'T CARE ANYMORE THESE DAYS! I like seeing other people happy, there is nothing wrong with that. I hate making other people unhappy... logical... yes. So lets smack me in the face by telling me you like my friend... and LETS FUCKING KICK ME WHEN IM DOWN BY TELLING ME WHY I GET HURT.

WHEN WILL PEOPLE FUCKING LEARN. More was said, but its all a blur now... Im SICK and TIRED of assholes... im sick and tired of a guys hurting me. People might say you let them hurt you... you put yourself out there.. WELL.... i put myself out there because when i meet a new someone... I don't want past experiences to affect something new. I put myself out there, because ive always been that way.. i always want people to know me. the real me. Ive been told so many god damn times im a genuinely, down to earth, caring person... I genuinely care about people... sure there could be bullshit that happens along the way, but in the end... i genuinely, sincerely, care about people.... and when you do that.. you always leave a space open for someone to step in, push against the walls of your heart and leave you shattered. But i take that damn risk everytime... because someday... in the end.. ill know it was worth it.(there goes me being optimistic again:) )


"Which To Bury; Us Or The Hatchet"

I think you know what I'm getting at
I find it so upsetting that
the memories that you select you keep the bad but the good you just forget

and even though I'm angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
when you peel out and drive away
I can't believe this happened

And all this time I never thought
that all we had would be all for not

No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far

Make your decision and don't you dare think twice
go with your instincts along with some bad advice
this didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all
you blame me but some of this is still your fault

I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting at
you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that

and wisdom always chooses
these black eyes and these bruises
over the heartache that they say
never completely goes away
(I just can't believe this happened
and one day we'll see this come around)

I like that song.. alot. It makes me feel happier. Kind of my feelings toward things right now.. Except replace the word love, because I didn't love mike. Just really likED the kid.


Well im sorry if you guys didn't want to read that. I really just wanted to rant. You don't have to comment. But itd be nice.

Hope everyone had a happy holiday... and here's to a NEW YEAR... And a NEW START.

Soooo christmas is just around the corner! Its soooo close! Today was pretty much amazing...even though everything didn't go according to plan. It was still fabulous!

School is out! Thank god! I did pretty well on all my finals!1 and I really didn't study for anything accept for Precalc.
Precalc-93 on my final 99 for the semester grade<-----TAKE THAT BITCHES!
English-93 on my final
Art- A
Psych-A
Fashion-A
Theology- I have no fucking clue. It was my last final. Although I don't think it will be an A.

So had lunch with josh yesterday. He gave me my christmas present... omg it made me cry. literally. He got me a gold chain, and a charm that was a break-apart charm that says "best friends" and I put my half on my chain, and he put the other on his chain.... Omg.. I was tearing up sooo bad. It was the sweetest thing ever! He's only been my friend since like... 8th grade and is practically my brother! It was just an amazing thing for a guy friend to pick out for me... I love it soo much and im never taking it off!

I got a Xmas present early from my mommy! It was a pink ski coat! I love it! It is beautiful!! I am going to look so pimp tomorrow on the slopes... Maybe Ill find some guys to teach how to snowboard again lol. I always meet hott guys when i board.....I love it lol.

This morning me and Leslie went to have coffee and exchange gifts! We had two coffee's each. They were fan-freakin-tatstic. I loved my gift from leslie! It was fabulous! I think she liked what i got her too! We got to sit and talk for a long time... that made me happy. We haven't gotten to do that in forever! I had alot of fun. We are going to start doing something at least once a week now! Im super excited!!!! Welp after coffee/talking, I took leslie to work. THen i went home and I decorated our christmas tree. I must say... It looks amazing! I swear to god im like the next martha stewart... minus the jail time :) Well I called mike and we were supposed to hang out.... but... that fell through. Its all good though, we're going to get together sometime after christmas. I went shopping for my second family(the borisovs), I got the boys art stuff(drools... my favorite!) and I made rachel a big, warm, fleece blanket! Its so super cute! Im going to finish wrapping presents here shortly. I leave in 5 hours for the ski trip. There was supposed to be a get together tonight for some fun before the trip... but that fell through too. o well! I think I shall take a nap, and get alot of Xmas stuff done! So it all works out! I will take lots of pics! and hopefully post them! from the ski trip!

Well Im going to go finish shit up and get my nap in! HOpefully i won't break anything... Im attempting to go off some jumps tomorrow..... Wish me luck lol.

Wow ok, so as always a lot is going on.

Let me first start out by saying....I GOT ACCEPTED TO SIUE! I got in! Im actually going to college woot woot! lol. I was really happy because its like the next MAJOR event in someones life. muwhahaha. I was also nervous because it was the ONLY school I applied to. I knew my chances of getting in were good but its the excitement of knowing for sure that you are. Its just so exciting.

Soo Yesterday Mike G. and Kayla asked me to go to breakfeast with them. So I did. realizing its been forever since ive woken up at 6 lol. It was sooo hard. It was alot of fun though. It was nice to actually hang out with mike and see that he isn't bein shady no more. He apologized for what happened last time and were kewl.

Things with Mike (not mike G)are going good still. We got to hang out Thursday night because he ended up not having to work. I gave him his present... He loved it. We hung out for like 3 hours. It was fabulous. I also saw him last night for a bit. I told him I got accepted and he like dropped everything and hugged me soo big and was like congratulations. He really is a sweet guy. You should have seen the look on his face... so cute lol. He was going to hang with me and britany but he got off work and was tired and just wanted to go home. He is still sick, poor kid.

Yesterday I went to Dublin Pub with Ashley and Morgan for a late lunch. I met Britany at her house. We got her ready.... got rushed, the hair didn't turn out the way i wanted it because we didn't have enough time, but I think it'll turn out ok. We ran around town taking pictures and it was kind of dark, but I think I got some good ones! I hope.*croses fingers* Then we went to the mall, tried on clothes. We went back to chatham and had some hardcore times there lol. Philcia's friend Jeremy is 23. Omg it was funny I was getting pretty violent last night and I smacked him really hard across the face, then he made me match it to the other side. I was like "No your gonna hit me!" lol.and he was like "No i won't." Brad held him back and I positioned myself and Smacked the other side of his face... omg... it was soooo loud. lol. I swear i thought i was going to die. Got a little rowdy and was wrestling.. lol it was a pretty fun night.

I have to work tonight. Theres a huge Xmas party for my dads company at the resturaunt... it will be madness. I think I get my car back today!!! George is going to be allllll better! yes... I named my car George. Fuck off. Finals start monday.... OMG... i don't wanna!!! You can't make me! Precalc will suck my non-existent balls. But optimistically... Its my hardest final and I get it out of the way first...

ahh I can't believe christmas is sooo close. We don't even have a tree yet!! I guess were getting it this weekend, and I have to decorate it. My parents are too busy. So this is where I bust out the Xmas music and go to work! It will be fun, I think me and my brothers are going to do it together! Wouldn't that be precious! Mm Im sooo excited for christmas! ahhh ANyways im going to go before this entry becomes any more random.

Leave me love.

Well hey there. So much is going on. First off, me and mike are no longer a couple. Yea... it sucks... but im ok. He still wants to hang out and be friends and talk all the time. That makes me soo happy. I know he still cares about me, and the fact that he is still going to be there for me means the world to me. I actually saw him today and he was being kewl towards me. He didn't act awkward or stand-offish. he hugged me and messed around with me. He is truly an awesome person. I do care about him alot. Im glad we are going to at least have a friendship. Anyways, i still have loads of christmas shopping to do. Finals are approaching so fast.... omg... i can't believe half of senior year is basically over. Its so crazy. its gone by sooo fast. Everything is going pretty good though. I redyed my hair... i love it!! Ahhhhh anyways. This was just a short update, Ill update once im done with all the stress of finals!! possibly before... depending on if i make it through it all lol. welp hope everyone's lives are going good. I love you all.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.



THANK YOU, COME AGAIN.

Life really puzzles me sometimes. Its so weird how you can go from down to up and vise versa so easily. Its always throwing you surprises... and i finally caught one of them.

I met a guy... A real guy. I just met him recently.His name is Mike... and crazy as it sounds.. were kind of official. But for you all to really understand you would have to see how we relate to each other. Its so weird, I haven't felt this way towards a guy since chris.. like i have liked guys... but not like this. We have so much more in common than i thought we ever could. We talked and talked and talked and talked.... We had like an Instant connection... like we just "clicked" i guess you could say. He is amazing... he is everything i have searched for in a guy. He is so sweet to me. He makes me laugh. He is even as crazy as me! He thinks its cute when im all like hyper...when others usually get annoyed. He is even TALLER than me lol. He makes me feel so comfortable. We were at his house and he tangoed with me lol.. out of no where... thats something i would do... He plays guitar... hes so good, and he plays piano!!! he didnt even tell me that! He came over and got on my piano and started playing and i was like WHAT?! He is pretty good at singing too! I love it! He sang and played his guitar for me.... I melted...

My mom likes him alot, my dad likes him (but is reserved about it because he is always hesitant towards new guys). Mike and my mom talked about random things forever...and he joked around with my dad. it was awesome to see a guy just sit and talk with my parents. He also met josh because it was josh's birthday.... Weird as hell.. small world... josh and mike knew each other.. They were at the same party one night and they were wrestling each other for fun. I was like...wow. This is what really blew me away. I asked josh what he thought of mike when we were alone and josh actually liked him!!! He said that he thought he was really nice and that he approved.... THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE...josh has NEVER liked any of the guys i have dated and completely gave consent..... I can't believe it. Im so happy!

He still needs to meet Leslie and some other people who mean alot to me.

This is amazing.....


The weirdest thing, I think, Is that the day i met him i had seen sooo many cute guys everywhere that i turned and i was like alright... this is a sign.. either A) i am going to meet a guy today... or B) God is being very very mean and showing me exactly what im not going to have...

it was most def. A). I met an awesome guy and he actually has a brain, he actually has things to talk about and with me thats important because i talk alot.... if you know me... then you know im not exaggerating lol.

welp im going to go do somethings and see where the day takes me.

I'm so happy.

leave me lovin's.

Hey guys whats up!? Not alot here. Just life... ya know... all that usually crazyness. School is going. Still no guy in my life... well except for my "fiance" matthew borisov. Lol. Christmas shopping is going to drive me nuts lol... o god. I at least know what im getting my mom, dad, and my brothers... but still friends... eek! O well... i will think of something. I want to see the new harry potter movie... but i promised mike i would wait til he was home and see it with him... so i shall. even though i already tried to go see it... it was sold out lol. Art is going fabulous... as always. I bought a coat... its super cute... i love it! I fit into a size 4 coat... i was astounded. I lost weight! whoot! I have been doing pilates every night! I want to start doing mornings too, but its so hard to get out of bed... especially with not getting enough sleep as it is. But i am definitely seeing results. that makes me happy. Thanksgiving is coming up... im excited... i get a break from school... and i get to eat YUMMY food. mm mm goooddd. I can't wait til i get to doll amanda up and do her makeup and take pictures this weekend as well! That will be exciting.. Josh's birthday is on saturday! Yay!!!!! I love my "brother!" He is amazing. Welll there isn't much else to say i suppose.... I shall go back to attending to my lovely children, the borisovs. God... they are amazing... they make me appreciate life so much... I just get a feeling of calm and appreciation when im with them... even though its always chaos when i babysitt lol. We have so much fun together. I never thought i could learn something from people who are much younger than me..... but i have. It ceases to amaze me. They can always cheer me up... even if ive had the worst of days. I love them. They are crazy, fun,.... they are everything to me. I love them as if they were my own siblings. <3 Well i guess thats all for now... and if i don't go rachel might just explode... she wants me to read her dora's christmas adventure.... for the third time. lol. Then we are painting our nails. and possibly.. hair do's! yay! <3<3

love me.

So ok... umm I DYED my hair RED! Its pretty! I love it!! It (to me) looks kind of like i could have been a natural red head. I actually look like i belong in my family now lol. I really do like it and was really pleased with the way it turned out. Its going to fade fast.. i just know it.

Moving onward my mom had her surgery, and she is fine a little tired, groggy, sore, and drugged up... but fine lol. I don't know what the results are, my mom said she won't know until about wednesday or so. Im really stressed and scared.I love my mom sooo much. <3<3<3<3 She means everything to me. I hope the results come back negative.

So I thought i had lost my wallet, or that someone had taken it because i honest couldn't remember moving it from the front seat of my car. It bugged me all night because i was at ashley's for the night and i couldn't go home to look for it. But i found it. Thank goodness.


Yesterday i dyed my hair, hung at the mall with leslie, nick, kayla and jamie. Twas fun. THen i went to barnes and nobles and got sucked into their art books... omg... I love all the books there... ahhh i could sit for hours on end just reading. *drools* While i was there one of the coffee worker guys was cleaning table... i had seen him many a time, and he was like "did you color your hair?" i said yea and what not and he was like "it looks good!" yay! Everyone has seemed to like it so far.

Then i went to walmart and meijer and looked for cute headbands.. I found some at meijer. I also bought a green shirt. Why? because it goes awesome with my hair and i sadly do not own a single green shirt... but i do now. muwhaha

Then Ashley called me up and I went over to her house. Her, morgan and myself all chilled and chatted it up. Then morgan had to go home cause she couldn't stay the night. *tears* So we rocked out to some queen and drove ms. morgan to her car. THen me and ashley went and rented a movie but right before we got to her house we saw brandon curry, so we called him and turned around and followed him. We snuck into his basement and stayed till 3 a.m. Then we went back to ashleys house popped in the movie and she fell asleep. I stayed up, then went to bed around 5:43. I woke up around 9 and went to class act to pick out my yearbok picture which i didn't really like... but o well. Now im at home. getting ready to hop in the shower and possibly go back into town before i work tonight. If any one wants something exciting to do. come see me at work... in new berlin lol.

laters.
<3

comment.

Welp, everythings going... *warning random sentences*

We are redoing my bathroom... its going to be sooo cute!<3 Ill go more into detail in another entree

i love enamaling! It rocks me socks.

Kj is leaving on friday... i saw him today... I cried.alot.

Graham text ME.... omg could it be? Im gald he isn't acting shady

Precalc tomorrow will rape me.

O so Today was my real first official day of my diet... Ive decided i am fasting from junk food entirely until thanksgiving.....I made it through day 1. I resisted cakes, and pizza... and im proud... im going to get my self control back even if it kills me.

There is no school friday. Fuck yes.

Going to see joel at andiamos tomorrow night... Hell yeeaaa!

Taking pictures of amanda friday for a project.

Dying my hair RED on Friday.BIG CHANGE. FREAKING OUT. Im ready for a change. Hopefully will be Hott.

Made a cute <3 purse in fashion! Finish it tomorrow.


THe ENd.

comment bitch.

Hey there everybody. whats up? well not alot here. Everythings been peachy... i guess. Well not really. Kj is back and im glad to see him, but it doesn't seem like hes all that happy to see me. O well. I guess I can't do anything about it. I care about him alot.... He leaves the 11th or the 12th. Grr. I Don't want him to leave. IN other news, me and graham... well we aren't going anywhere... were just friends. Sucks... figures I would find a guy and this would happen. WHat the hell is wrong with me.... god... It just urks me. Whatever. We finished our stuff for festival of the trees and it looks awesome. Someone else did a dragon!! o well no worries ours was so much better lol. I think i just might shoot myself in the forehead because im still not done with the backdrop i was to be painting.... Its sooo cliche and stupid but whatever its art and i love it... i have to add in a road and trees and something else... i can't remember what else... so close to done.... yet so far far away. Well My diet starts tomorrow because i have been eating entirely wayyy too much shit lately. Im losing my nice tummy and getting round... hell no.

O I did this thing for Grahams friend jacki. I don't know her but She was in an accident about 2 years ago and was paralyzed waist down. SHe went to portugal to have a stem cell surgery done. If it was successful she may walk again... thats amazing... But anyways I don't know her but when he told me I don't know why but i wanted to do something for her. So i got the article from the paper and i made some drawings and framed it for her. I hope she likes it. This was one of the drawings in it that i did:




My mom loved it.I liked it alot and really wanted to keep it but, id rather she have it.


well thats all for now i guess. I babysitt tomorrow. yay. i love those kids... I really don't know what ill do when i leave for college.... ill have to come back and visit them... they are like my second family.

welp leave me lots of lovins... i could use it. <3

Yay! Everything is perfect as of now. My grades in everything are still AWESOME. Precalc, is growing increasingly harder, but im keeping up. god i love math. OO got my homecoming pictures back (the professional ones) Man o Man, they are cute! Better than what i thought they were going to be. ANyways, im crazy busy! NAHS has got me running on empty lol. But its ok, I love it. Im almost done with the 32 foot long back drop, its simple, but its just alot of area to cover in paint. Next up is a thank u drawing i am doing for Mr. Nudo. Then if Hulvey LETS me im going to be doing another drawing for one of the nuns i believe. SHe is silly. Festival of trees is coming up and we are getting our shit together for that. SO far so good. Only bad thing... it all has to be done by friday lol. CRAZYNESS. I have to get cracking on my piano music as well because my LAST gold cup depends on it. I can do it, I know i can. Things with Graham are good for now lol, im just gonna see what happens. I get to skip school half day because im feeling "ill" on wednesday! why? BECAUSE KJ IS COMING HOME!! omg omg omg omg omg omg omg! I have been waiting forever!!! I am seriously freaking out i really can't wait! I get to go pick him up from the airport, but he doesn't know that im going to be there! muwhahahahaha I seriously think im going to tackle him down to the ground.... o god, i just can't wait. Mm on to another subject....Ashley wanted to take pictures of us in the park today so her mommy met us there and joel came too and we took a bunch of really cute pictures with all the beautiful leaves... we had a leaf fight too, man that was fun lol. MM i love FALL! I love the colors and MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY IS HALLOWEEN! yay!

TOmorrow there is no school! yay!!! i still have to work that night... o well. Mm Then, Saturday... I truly can't wait. I get to do my mommy's makeup and were straightening her hair and putting it up in an up do! OOO i can't wait to see my mommy with straight hair!! Then I have to go to the restaraunt and serve joel and ashley dinner on a candle lit table with rose pedals, and omg its going to be so cute. Then I am heading over to the Borisovs for a bit of halloween festivities, and my night will be concluded by attending kelsey's party. That should be fun. Lol. Im going to be a fairy for halloween and my costume is somewhat.... skanky lol and im trying to get stegi to go as peterpan with a pimp cane lol. How awesome would that be? Yea... pretty awesome. Sunday there will be trick o treating with the tosha and leslie and nick in new berlin, and then monday night there will be trick o treating in springfield with the joel, ashley, torgi, stegi and whoever else wants to join in! man o man... life is good! yep yep yep.


welp leave me lots of comments if you LOVE me.... you kno you do.

Hey! alot has been happening lately. Lets see got the report cards and i got straight A's so my parents were pleased! Since two of my classes are honors, i have a 4.3 gpa weighted and unweighted a 4.0. Yayness!
I retook the ACT yesterday, lets hope that went a lil bit better, prly not but o well. Its the science part that really fucking gets me! I hate it :( I don't remember biology of any of that shit because i had a horrible teacher! Welp anyways, I met this new guy!!! His name is Graham. He's super sweet, and very cute lol. I don't know if anything will happen with us but We'll see. He asked for number and we hung out last night after i got back from terror on the square with les and nick. Hmm we'll see. Today, i have already pulled weeds in the garden i have to do some other work as well. Im going to a movie with joshua at some point and working on my painting! weeee! I love art! <3. welp comment if you love me.

Yay! The process is over! I am finally a certified Diver! It was so much fun! I <3 diving.. but i have come to find i am most definitely a WARM water diver lol. I don't take to kindly to the cold. But anyways, we dove through a bus, and a plane and we threw a bowling ball around under water.. it was just really awesome. It was so awesome to be swimming with the fish, and they aren't scared of you... they come right up to you and its really fascinating!! I can't wait til I go somewhere tropical this christmas and get to see the tropical fish and sea turtles! Its got me all excited!!!! Now that diving is done with I have to start on my pilot's license! OMG.... its going to be alot harder, but i most def. I want to do it. I love experiencing so many different things. Well Im super tired and have a shit load of homework to do....plus i have to be at school early.... bahh... ttyl!

leave me <3-ins

Today was judgement day!! lol. We had our Senior vs. Junior powderpuff game. It was so fun. I also got my hair highlighted more, but thats not whats important right now. The game was brutal, and as always it turned into tackle lol It started out as flag, but they turned it into two-hand touch. So what did you expect?! YOu made us get more vicious. ANyways, Seniors won, although the juniors did good. THey had a pretty strong team. Ill admitt that. But i think the highlight of game for me was the fight i got into lol. I was on the online and this jr. girl nevinn(sp?) was against me, and We both went at each other, and well she got pissed and like slapped me upside the head and tried to swing at me and i nailed her across the face with the bottom of my palm. I didnt make a fist, had i done so, her face would have been jacked up. But apparently I gave her a black eye?? Hell i dunno, but it was fun lol. I guess someone said that I hit her with my elbow or something to make her want to hit me, I was not aware of that, I was just pushing her back...So but even if thats so, its football and you are going to get bruised and you don't start a fight with someone because they knocked you with an elbow. Stupid bitch. SHe called me a dyke?? hmmm wheres my short hair? I called her a fuckin whore. But whatever, so many people came up to me and were like shaking my hand and telling me that i was there hero. It made me laugh. I might get suspended. Who fucking cares. My dad was like I will get a lawyer in there and the school will lose alot of money. I <3 my dad sometimes. Everyone else just thought it was awesome lol. My dad told me NOT to apologize. I said ok. So we will see what happens tomorrow. Im such a badass. *giggles*


IN other news...
HOmecoming is coming up and im SOOO excited. I can't wait. My mom has almost finsihed my dress, its like the final touches and it will be done and I tried it on and OMG it looks AMAZING!! I love it so much! MMm *hugs dress* And all my jewelry looks amazing with it. Tomorrow is Toshas birthday and im taking her out to dinner and a movie!! Cause I <3 her!!

MM tired, burnt, and sore. Time for bed!



KJ MIGHT COME HOME TUESDAY *MIGHT* and he Might get to stay home for a month!!! Im praying he gets to!!

Happy..... But not really. How is that even possible... if your happy, your happy. If your not then your not... so why am i Happy... but not really? It doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't seem possible, but apparently it is. Im so tired... Emotionally. Slowly but surely Im being eaten alive, and its like I can't stop it. Things keep eating away at me, I wake up every morning and push my thoughts aside, hoping something will change, and for that lil portion of the day where i'm at school i can keep those thoughts under control. But every night when i get home The thoughts just invade my mind once again. This is why I need school.. It keeps me occuppied so that i don't have time to think about the things that make me so sad. I've cried so much this past week that its ridiculous. Im emotionally drained. Things keep upsetting me. I hate this feeling... I just want it all to end.

So wow. Today I drove down to ISU to see my cousin in which i love so very much! I had a BLAST!! omg! So i got here we just chilled around for a bit I met his room mate and other friends on the floor. These kids are so fucking hilarious. SO anyways umm we spent the better part of the day going through everybuilding on campus and going through their trash cans. NOw there is a good reason for this lol. My cousin is collecting mountain dew and pepsi bottle caps to have a chance to win an xbox 360 for free. He is very determined lol. SO anyways on our way back to the dorm we looked into the dumpster and found the most amazing thing EVER! A fucking POLICE FORCE skateboard that has a fucking pole on the front end of the skateboard in which you could most certainly impale yourself on. Lol lets just say much fun was had with that. THen we went to dinner at this AWESOME Food place! it was delicious! We had some fucking funny conversations and then we went shopping at target. Im going to by me a NANO kitty. I miss those things lol. Well anyways we played some pool at the BBC and then we came back. I will make a better entry but my parents are letting me stay the night and were about to watch a movie. Sooo... I will update laterS!! <3

mm yes yes wow, so im actually making an update! wHOOT! My internet has been fucked in the A-Hole recently, and it is deciding to work today. Lazy bastard. Anyways things are going pretty good. I got a date to homecoming! yay! It is stegi! whoot! I asked him, thats kewl thought cause im not shy. Mm anyways so tragic story, the dress I ordered for homecoming was beautiful in every aspect. It was gonna rock out hardcore, because NO ONE was going to have it, or anything like it! Well.... no such luck. It was $120 dollars, and we ordered it, and it came... and it SUCKED! The picture made it seem really high quality and a decent dress. WRONG! It was made out of the cheapest material and so very poorly made. SO needless to say we sent that shit back and yea... I was thouroughly upset. O well.... SO plan B! Well me and my lovely Tosha went to Decatur mall and well I didn't really find any dresses, but my mom said i could go ahead and spend the money on some much needed jeans. I got 3 good pairs. I was pretty excited to now own jeans without holes, and my size! woo hoo! Anyways, me and my mom Are making my homecoming dress! Its gonna rock all! We have already bought the material for the corset portion, and then the next step is getting the skirt material. Its two pieces, the top being a corset (a real corset) and the bottom being a skirt. Its a combo of black and light pink. its going to be so pimp, kickass, beautiful and original! NO ONE will have my dress! muwhahahahahahaha. That makes me oober happy! In other news, I got my hair cut.. it looks fabulous! *no worries its just choppy layers, no length was taken from my beautiful mane! Also,i've worn my glasses a couple of days now *got new ones* and i continue to get compliments on them, this makes me happy because i was always super self-conscious about wearing glasses. Yay. I also got my Saphire blue contacts and i must say they are B-E-A-UTIFUL! I <3 them. They make me look like a fairy! All in all things are going pretty splendiferous lately. I got my first golden palette project done. Im working on my next which i am super excited to do! Im making an altered book on the 7 deadly sins. It will pretty much rock my socks off! I didnt get to do my photography thing this weekend, but thats ok, because i discovered my problem and will be able to take all my pictures shortly! it shall be glorious! O in decatur today, i also bought these really cute girl skull earrings that have pink bows, and some crazy rainbow earrings that hang down to my shoulders! I <3 them! I spent time with leslie this weekend! I loved it! As always! Tomorrow Im going to start a pilates class with my mommy! Yay! I <3 her! Soon i will be starting a jewelry making class at the art association too! OO La la! I can't wait!!! HOw fun!! Mm well im gonna go do my homework, and get a shower. Sorry if this update was long and boring just had a lot to say! Leave me comments if you truly <3 me!

So wow, had and AWESOME night. Chilled for the better portion of the morning doing shit around the house. THen got ready to go into town. I dressed like a school girl... and I must say, as Natalie so blantantly put it, I looked "BANGIN!"
lol God how I do love my precious Natalie. Then to my delightful surprise, Ron was working and of course we gave each other a hard time and broke out our sweet ninja fighting skills... i mean.. yea.. that never happened. Anyways, They are ordering me my "hooker boots." Freaking A-Mazing. I can't wait to get those damn boots, they are like my combat boots except... well sluttier lol. They Go up to the knees and lace up both sides. I tried on a pair and holy hell they are hott. Amanda and Luke met up with me at the mall, and there was some definite chillage. It was quite delightful. Then, Amanda *<3*, Luke, Ashley*<3*, Sexton, and myself went to see The forty year old virgin. OMFG it was HILARIOUS. It was so good, that I would pay to see it again. I laughed so much. During the movie me and Amanda both finished off a large bag of reese's pieces and umm... probably each consuming approximately 600 calories each. I'm never eating candy AGAIN....*reaches for kit kat* ok so anyways... lets see.... Im not cutting my hair until either next weekend of the weekend after that then I should be able to go to all blonde shortly after the cut. Whoot! Then Tomorrow Im gonna go by my fleece and supplies for my *lovely* scarf im going to be making. Then I have to finish Peanut's picture, and then I have to do my laundry and much much more. Plus Lynlea's having a Cook out around 6ish, so I'm pretty sure I'm attending that and yea.. tomorrow is going to be busy as fuck. yay. Well Im gonna work on Leslie's picture now, and what not. Bye! <3




p.s. MY INTERNET WORKS AGAIN!!! YAY!